Fuzzy Peaches of Doom!
by Katraa
Summary: [Humour] [Zelos X peaches?..][Rated for Language] When Fuzzy Peaches and Cream puffs go bad. [Finally Complete]
1. Default Chapter

This story will be not to well written but mostly for those people who love to fall on the floor laughing.

**Fuzzy Peaches of Doom!**

**Chapter One: A Weird Start**

"Lloyd! I think Colette has gone insane!" Genis whined.

"Why?" Lloyd asked.

"Because she's wearing a **dress" **Genis explained.

"So?.."

"Well only girls wear dresses" Genis replied.

"You're saying Colette isn't a girl?"

"Maybe.."

-Meanwhile with Yuan-

"Why won't this TV turn on!"

"What's wrong Lord Yuan?" A random renegade asked.

"The damn TV won't turn on!" He yelled.

"Try clicking the On button"

"This moment never happened," Yuan replied.

-Meanwhile with Zelos-

"ZELOS WE LOVE YOU!" A group of fuzzy peaches yelled out chasing after the Chosen.

"First girls now peaches!?" He yelled running.

A peach just then jumped on his head.

"WE LOVE YOOOOU!" It screamed.

"HUNNIES HELP ME!" Zelos yelled.

-Meanwhile with Zelos' Hunnies-

"Right hand on red" A girl said as Sheena put her hand on red.

-Meanwhile with a potato..-

"DON'T EAT ME!" A potato yells as it is being stuffed inside a pot.

"I'm to young to die!" It yelled.

Anyways…

-Meanwhile with Raine-

"I want to see the artifact!"

"No!"

"Why not?!" Raine yelled.

"Because we've heard you blow up everything!" A random guy said.

"That was only the human ranches!" She yelled back.

"Well this is a 'human' artifact!" The man replied.

"This is pointless.."

-Back at Yuan…-

"Why the heck won't the ketchup come out of this bottle?" Sticks bottle up to eye and tries to check why.

"YUAN!" A random renegade yelled. The ketchup covered Yuan's face.

"Dammit!"

-Meanwhile at Kratos-

"Why can't I go on the merry-go-round?" Kratos demanded.

"Because your old!" An old guy said.

"So are you!" Kratos replied.

"But I am not gay and want to go on the merry-go-round" answered the old guy with a dog as a wig.

"But you operate it" Kratos replied.

"…"

-Back at Lloyd-

Lloyd is eating a cream puff.

"CREAM PUFF?!" Mithos yelled as he jumped onto Lloyd and began to kill the Cream puff as the guy from Know Your Stars who took a bite of the Cream Puff walked on stage.

-Back at Zelos-

Zelos is still being chased by Fuzzy Peaches (go figure)

**Author's Note:**

**I know that was very odd indeed ::smile:: Please review?**


	2. Mustard and other food!

**Wow, so many people liked this! I Guess I HAVE to continue now ::bows and trips over Yuan's ketchup bottle:: HEY!**

**Yuan: XD**

**Nall: Idiots… **

**Me: That was so not funny!

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**

**Fuzzy Peaches of Doom!**

**Chapter Two: Mustard and More food!**

Colette comes out in a Banana Suit.

"LLOYD!" Genis yells.

"What now?" Lloyd asks.

"Scratch the part of Colette being in a dress"

"Why?"

"Cause she's taken stupidity to a whole new level.." Genis says.

Colette then begins to sing.

"BANANA'S IN PAJAMAS!"

"No not that damn song!' Genis yells covering his ears.

-Meanwhile-

Yuan is trying to figure out the meaning behind mustard (oh terrific!)

"what is this odd substance?"

"Yuan?" A random renegade says

"Do you know what this is?" he asks holding up a bottle of Mustard.

"It looks like a yellow bottle, M'lord"

"I MEAN WHAT'S IN THE BOTTLE!"

-Meanwhile-

Zelos is still being chased by those peaches.

"Why isn't anyone helping me?!" He yells as several peaches begin to pull at his hair.

"HELLO!?!" Zelos yells as the peaches knock him over into the tunnel of love.

"This is just great.." He speaks as the radioactive peaches are biting him.

-Meanwhile-

Sheena and Seles are having a glass of tea in The palace.

"Have you heard from Zelos lately?" Seles asks.

"No…why," She speaks as the mob of peaches begin to take him to their secret Peach civilization.

"That's supposed to be a secret!" A peach yells.

"Oops!" I yell.

Anyways…

-Meanwhile with Yuan and his potatoes…(refer to Potato Madness)-

"Why won't you things leave me alone?!" He yells as he is tied up on a stick above a boiling part of water.

"UHASDKD (Never you piece of delicious food!)"

"I still don't know what you are saying!" Yuan yells.

"UDHSLOMDA!(Shut up and let's eat him with Spanish rice!) A potato yells.

-Meanwhile Back at Kratos-

"For the hundredth time, I want to go on the damn merry-go-round!" Kratos yells. The dog on the guys wig jumps in the air and karate kicks Kratos.

"Good job shoe" The old guy says.

"You call your wig shoe?" Kratos asks.

"Maybe…"

-Back to Mithos-

Mithos is being surrounded by millions of cream puffs.

"You ate our leader!" A Cream Puff yells.

"I didn't eat him! It was Yuan!" Mithos yells. The cream puffs put down their spears.

"Ok then! LET'S ATTACK YUAN!" They all yell as the join up with the potatoes to cook Yuan with Spanish rice. Who would have thought that, huh?

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**Author's Note:**

**That was totally random! I think Cause I ate Spanish Rice I was hungry during this! YAY SPANISH RICE! Was this funny? Please review ::pokes you::**


	3. New chapter xD

Fwee! Chapter Three of Fuzzy Peaches of Doom is in! Did you give up on me? Of course I'd update! I would never let people down! Erm, some of which are my fans. Please review and tell me why people are my fans xD I don't really get it I feel really inspired after reading hilarious stories. My buddies at neopets have also given me inspiration. Odd inspiration but none the less, inspiration. Speaking of this word called inspiration, my orange tabby is here! He's so cuddly and warm and fuzzy! Yes he is! Oooooh yes, before I start, if you have any fan fictions you want me to read, MAKE sure you put them in your reviews. I'd be glad to read and pop in a review anytime! I'm always on, just sitting here, clicking buttons. I also have another random question! If Yuan is a half-elf, why in the name of Martel doesn't he have pointed ears. That's been bugging me a lot. But I find his human ears a big turn on xD And his blue hair. Ok enough ranting!

Nall: That was the most I've ever seen anyone rant in my entire life of 1,000 years. How do you do it? Do you just type things that pop into your head? You are really odd, might I add.

Me: Erm, yes. Exactly. I love being odd. Odd is funnier than normal! Who here agrees! Well Erm, I've lost many friends being odd, dun't ask tho xD Beware of the odd yaoii stuff in this

Fuzzy Peaches Of Doom

Chapter Three: Who told this guy he could steal the door!

We re visit Lloyd, Genis, and Colette, the Banana in pajamas lady-

"Lloyd, we have to do something about Colette!" Genis whined.

"Ooooh! I know what we can do! Let's die her hair brown! She hates people with brown hair!" Lloyd spoke with a huge grin. Genis paused for a few moments.

"I'm not even going to respond to that Lloyd," Genis spoke sighing. Bursting through the door was Colette in a bikini with Catwoman! Not any Catwoman, a ninety year old Catwoman with lot's of hair! Very Hairy!

"It burns!" Genis yelled shielding his eyes from the two 'females'.

"Pretty…" Lloyd spoke drooling. Genis reached over and thwacked Lloyd on the head.

"Genis!" Lloyd whined holding his head.

"PERSON WITH BROWN HAIR!" Colette screamed pointing to Lloyd as her hair flew in the wind. Running around the room, Catwoman bent over to grab Colette's bracelet.

"KEEP YOUR TAIL DOWN CATWOMAN!" Genis cried as his eyes burned. Yes burned like eggs on a hot summer day.

"Nooo! Not Catwoman's crack!" Lloyd spoke gagging.

Anyways….

-Meanwhile with Kratos and that guy with the wig-

"Here you go President Bob Bob!" The man who ran the merry-go-round said as he let the 60 year old president onto the pink horse.

"This has gone too far!' Kratos yelled angrily unsheathing his sword. Too his surpise.. all it was was a stick with a note that had been addressed to him in pink pen.

"_Dear Mr. Seraphim not as sexy and talented as me Kratos,_

_I am borrowing your sword? Ok! I'm sure you'll let me borrow your sword! I mean, I am the Chosen Of Mana! Me and my sexy self have to use it to ward off peaches!_

_Love,_

_Zelos"_

"…" Kratos did not reply. The old man who ran the merry-go-round snatched the note and read it.

"hahaha! I knew you were gay! You're as straight as a rainbow!" The man spoke poking Kratos in the chest as the wig barked at him.

"Iidot…"

-Meanwhile with Zelos and Kratos' Sword-

"Stay away you damn peaches!"Zelos yelled as the peach colony slowly approached him.

"We LOVE you Zelos!" One peach spoke throwing a giant bomb at him.

"I prefer women!" Zelos warned. Suddenly out of no where, came a odd guy dressed in leather.

"Mr. Zelos!" The man spoke with a shoe in hand.

"Yo! It's my shoe person come to save the day!" Zelos spoke jumping into the man's arms. The peaches starred at this, shrugged, and charged out of there civilization to meet up with the potatoes and creampuffs to cook Yuan!

-Meanwhile with Sheena-

"Um I have a question," Sheena spoke to the vice chief. She placed her hands on her hips.

"Yes Chief?" The vice chief answered.

"Who stole our damn door?" Sheena barked as a few guys gawked at her from outside.

"I'll fix that right away," The vice chief Tiga replied.

"Anyways, who told that guy he could steal our door?"!

-Meanwhile with Yuan and the boiling pot of doom-

"Burn burn burn! Sizzle sizzle sizzle!' The food products chanted as they held Yuan above a pot of doom.

"First I ate food, now food is going to eat me?" Yuan spoke thinking of the irony of it all. Grabbing his magical double edged blade of doom, he cut himself free and jumped down on the ground.

"Yo man, we, the Beetles, have come to save you dude," The group called the 'Beetles' from a time way before I could remember appeared with their fancy guitars.

"And you are?" Yuan spoke rolling his eyes. Running for his life, Mithos bumped into him.

"YUAN!" Mithos yelled hugging the blue haired guy.

"Mithos! What the, What are you doing?" Yuan yelled pushing off the blonde-haired boy.

"I found your cell phone!" Mithos spoke chucking it at Yuan. Flipping open the phone he flipped through it.

"I have HOW many phone calls left?"

"…2." Mithos spoke grinning.

"I had 203 earlier! Who did you call?" Yuan warned.

"No one" Mithos grinned.

"Tell me…"

"Nope!" And with that Mithos flew away. Yuan grinned and checked the memory to see who the boy had called. To his surprise Mithos had spent all those calls to a Chinese Restaurant! Before he turned it off a pop up message appeared.

"I LOOOOOVE YOU!" On the message was a chibi face of Mithos with hearts around his head. Yuan dropped the cell phone in horror.

Author's Note:

Mwahaaha! If you want to help me, read my top rant! Thanks!


	4. Your Mother!

Chapter Four! Heh, yes indeed, Chapter Four is in! This chapter will have some quotes from around my school, teacher quotes. This chapter will also feature yaoii stuff, yeppers. And also, It will have spoilers. And some language, lol. My inspiration this time you ask? Well it's this piece of dust! Yes! I get inspired by anything, really. Ooh and yes, I now have a deviant art name. Check my bio. I drew Sheena and Corrine, heh, I did it during Social Studies during Mr. Fairbrother's class. I mean, the guy might give me a B! I can't get a B, never never never! I might regret saying this but, MY AOL SCREENAME IS sparklewind. Ok, I'm stupid. Well I will be updating to my reviews again on my website. Sorry for not replying to them for so long.

Nall: eating a muffin:

Me: MUFFIN! GIVE ME THAT!

Nall: Get your own damn Muffin.

Me: I want that muffin. Give it now before I I… get Zophar in here!

Nall:…..

Me: grinning:

Nall: You creep me out

Me: Thank you!

Nall: ….

Me: Someone do my disclaimer!

Nall: I'm not : leaves:

Me: FINE THEN:thinks: Oh Tiger!

Tiger?

Me: Do my disclaimer

Tiger: Fine fine, Kat does not own anything except her ranting above, her deviantart pictures, her B in social studies (me: HEY!) and that piece of dust.

Me:… better then what Nall or Yuan could have done!

N&Y: ….

Fuzzy Peaches Of Doom

Chapter Four: Your Mother!

"Where did Colette go?" Lloyd asked eating a banana split.

"I don't know," Replied Genis. He then noticed the banana.

"Damn you Lloyd! Don't you remember what happened last time you ate a banana?" Genis spoke hinting of this misfortunes in Banana Slices.

"…So?" Lloyd answered.

"You never learn," Replied Genis shrugging.

-At Kratos and the shoe/wig/dog-

"Here Kratos, take your sword back," Zelos spoke entering the scene where Kratos stood, still waiting to go onto the Merry-go-round.

"ZELOS!" Kratos warned angrily glancing over. The man who ran the Merry-go-round, who looked oddly like Koton, turned to Zelos and glanced down at the note.

"AHA! You are this man's 'lover'," The man spoke poking Kratos in the eye.

"Hey!" Kratos spoke angrily clenching his eye.

"Lover!" Zelos spoke with his eyes widening.

"Dude, there was only this one time in a closet! One time over night," Zelos began to explain before he came to realize what he said wasn't the right thing to say in this situation.

"Zelos, you damned fool!" Kratos spoke, still holding his left eye.

"A night in a closet! YOU FOOLS! WHAT WOULD YOUR MOTHERS SAY?" The man shrieked.

Kratos and Zelos leaped backwards.

"Yo!" The wig suddenly said, which is actually a dog. Oh yea, called Shoe as you already know. The groups turned their attention to the dog/wig.

"I'm to sexy to be a wig, to sexy to be a wig, too sexy and way to big. And I'm a model if you know what I mean, and I shake my tail on the catwalk, no the dog walk, not going to be a wig no more!" The dog spoke dancing around, then leaving. Zelos and Kratos clutched their sides holding back their laughter.

"Shoe come baaaack!" The man hollered.

"That was odd," Zelos spoke passing Kratos his sword.

"I agree," Kratos answered.

"You know, you still snore loudly," Zelos spoke as Kratos rolled his eyes.

-At Mithos and erm Yuan-

"Finally, back at my base and with my doors locked so no one can bother me. Life is good," Yuan spoke to himself, with a slight grin. But to his surprise the phone rang.

"Who is it? This better be good. I'm on my last two calls," Yuan sneered into the small cell phone.

"Your mother!"

"Not this damned shit again. Stop bothering me Mithos you damned insane boy! I don't want to marry you, have sex with you, talk to you, look at you, or anything of the sort!" Yuan yelled.

"Yuan! How dare you swear at your own mother. Who taught you those horrid words. You should be ashamed!"

"Mommy?.." Yuan spoke in shock.

"Yes, I am your mother Yuan. And what is this about sex?"

"Uh….." Yuan paused.

"Oh look. The pizza is here, by mom" Yuan spoke sharply hanging up the phone.

-At Regal and Dirk-

"I heard you make Dwarven Pot—Luck surprise." Regal told Dirk sitting down at a fancy table.

"yes I do," answered Dirk setting down a bowl near Regal.

"Lloyd told me about it on our journey," Regal answered lowering his head down into the bowl to eat.

"…" Dirk was silent for a moment.

"What is this? It's great! It has a unique texture and terrific taste," Regal announced bringing his face back up, which was now covered.

"Dwarven Pot—luck surprise! It has snails, snakes, beetles, oil, dead skin cells, coconut and other stuff. Oh and hair lad," Dirk explaining proudly. Regal's face went pale.

"Accuse me a moment," Regal spoke leaving the house almost dieing.

**Author's Note:**

**I know it's short, please don't hurt! Please don't. But review or I shall never write another chapter in this story : evil laugh:**


	5. Pickles Death

**Lol, I finally got out of writers block from some random words of praise from my friends. Yay for fuzzy peaches! Let's see how Kratos and the others get themselves out of this odd mess. Poor poor them! Anyways enjoy this story, seeing it made 15 people's favorites, LOL!**

**Me: So tired, can't focus**

**Nall: Then go look up pictures of your dog love Shigure**

**Me: He so hot!**

**Nall: he a horny dog**

**Me: Ya damn cat!**

**Nall: I'm a dragon/human! Not a freaking cat!**

**Me: You look like a cat**

**Nall: -.-;**

**Me: Breath fire on suthin**

**Nall: How about you?**

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Fuzzy Peaches Of Doom

Chapter Five: Pickles Death

-At Lloyd-

"Genis Look at this! It's a magazine!" Lloyd shrieked. Genis grabbed the magazine from Lloyd and starred at it.

"Lloyd, this is playboy…"

"I know! It's got Colette in it!" Lloyd replied grabbing it back.

"Colette in playboy? What page?"

"Here!" Lloyd shoved the page in Genis face. On the page was not Colette but Oprah Winfrey. Genis shrieked loudly and covered his face.

"The horror!"

"Oh! It's Oprah! Man I love her shows!"

-At Kratos and Zelos and mr. merry go round-

"See, your wig is gone. Now nothing is left for you. So leave this merry go round and go console yourself," Zelos chanted. Kratos just starred at him.

"What are you doing?"

"Oh! Is Mr. seraphim curious?" Zelos asked, as if he was on a game show. Kratos starred at him.

"No, I was wondering when you had felt so much for a random guy," Kratos sighed.

"You know I'm bisexual.." Zelos suddenly hollered. Kratos just starred at him in horror and dis-belief, he hid under the merry go round. See, Zelos then looked around for Kratos.

"Mr. Flamey Krattie! Mr. Wiggles!" Zelos shrieked. Kratos just shuddered thinking of what Zelos meant by those words.

-At Regal and Dirk-

"You ate my spoon.."

"I didn't eat your spoon, you have it wrong," Regal pleaded, in shock as Dirk chased after his with a giant sword that resembled a blow up toy.

-At Colette and Sheena-

"Look! Look! A walking hotdog!" Colette yelled pointing to a doxen walking by. Sheena buried her face into her hands.

"Colette that's a dog.."

"Yea Sheena! A hot dog, wanna share it?"

"Why must I be stuck with the dumb one!"

-At Yuan and Random Pieces of Food-

"What do you want with me! Why can't you just leave me alone!" Yuan yelled, as random pickles with big fat feet cornered him against a buttered wall.

"Yuan, I must tell you something," A big pickle, the leader spoke walking up. Yuan eyed the pickle.

"What?" He asked bitterly.

"I'm your father!" The pickle announced. Suddenly ten pickles yelled and jumped on Yuan squeaking.

"Brother!"

Yuan starred blankly as the rabid pickles huggled him. All was going so so until his cellphone rang.

"Yuan! Have you found out who your father is yet?" Yuan's mom squawked like a bird. Yuan closed his eyes and stomped on the cell phone.

"Why me!"

At Presea and a random toenail-

"Bob! Bob where art tho!"

"Over here my love"

Anyways, ignoring Preasea's Romeo and Juliet story with a toenail…

-Back at Zelos, the Bisexual dude-

"Kratos! I got some oil!"

"O.o!" Kratos hid farther under the merry go round until he was as far as he could go. Under the merry go round was none other then Drew Carey.

"Want a fry?" He asked shoving French fries in his face.

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**Author's Note:**

**Riiiiiiiiight! The randomness continued! Poor Yuan, Poor poor Kratos! And Weird, Lloyd thought Oprah Was Colette!**


	6. Ending of Insanity

Here is the final installment of Fuzzy Peaches of Doooooom. Wait does doom even have that many o's?

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Chapter Six: Ending of Insanity

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-At Kratos, And Drew Carey, And Zelos-

"Hey Zelos, I have a question!" Drew Carey rang out, while holding Kratos in his grasps. Kratos found this ubberly annoying, and since when did he start using the word ubberly?

"Yea?" Zelos asked while attempting to shove his fist into his mouth. Silly Zelos, you can't do that even if you tried!

"Have you ever been attacked by peaches?" Drew Carey asked, while stroking Kratos' head. Kratos pouted and began to mentally smack himself.

"I am not gay! Why do you men find me so damn attracting!" Kratos yelled out loud. No further comment.

"Oh my god! You read my mind, Drew. Can I call you Drew?" Zelos squealed happily, taking his fist out of his mouth and jumping and down giddly.

"But aren't peaches juicy?" Drew Carey asked, now shampooing Kratos' hair.

"Juicy? I don't know cause they insist on chasing me." Zelos pouted, now licking a random lollipop.

"Someone, help me!" Kratos hollered.

Just then, as he yelled for help, Colette Super Girl Extraordinaire appeared. Wow, I spelled such a big word! Anyways, she appeared dressed up as a head of cabbage. What's so super about it? Beans are the magical fruit, not cabbage. Gawd.

"Colette?" Kratos sighed. He was the only sane one. He sighed as he watched his son and genis ride on by. What do I mean? Genis was riding Lloyd like a horse…. Save a horse ride a cowboy.. erm I mean swordsman!

-back at Yuan-

"Brrrooootheeer" Each potato randomly licked Yuan's hair.

"Let me go, damnit!" Yuan yelled. Yuan's cellphone rang. Oddly his ringtone is William Hung. She Bang she bang.. ok I'll stop singing!

"hello?" He asked.

"Yuuuuaaaan!" A thrilled scream was heard.

"Who the heck is this?"

"I mean! Is your refrigdator running?"

"What the hell, don't call me asking that!" Yuan snapped.

"Well you better go catch it!"

"I don't even have a fridge!" Yuan hollered irratibley.

"Yes you do."

"No, I don't."

"Oh really?"

"Who are you?" Yuan asked, shaking off the mutant tots.

"You have seven days to liiive."

"Your wasting my minutes gawd!" Yuan hung up the phone then watched as his father came close to him.

"Since you are my son, you will now be… King of Spuds!"

"Come again?" Yuan asked furrowing an eyebrow.

"King of spuds!"

"Can I change that to King of Studs?" Yuan asked hopefully.

"He's… the enemy! From the secret stud organization! Kill him! He is no son of me!" The potatoes launched their attack on poor Yuan! But amazingly he escaped, with a bitten arm, but alive! And ever since he's locked himself in his secret base. Poor poor Yuan.

-back at zelos, Kratos, Colette, and the others-

"Let Kratos go!" Colette yelled pulling Kratos by the pant leg.

"Never!" Drew yelled, pulling Kratos by the head.

"Don't touch the hair!" Kratos yelled. He loved his hair. By now Lloyd and Genis were happily home with the others, going back to their normal lives.

"Let my father-in-law go!" Colette yelled, pulling Kratos foot rather hard and pulled off his shoe revealing frog legs? I'm not EVEN going to ask, and I'm the bloody author!

"Let's go Zelos!" Drew announced as he dropped Kratos and left with Zelos.

"I think it's finally over." Kratos panted, grabbing his shoe and putting it back on.

"Ok, bye!" Colette flew away. Kratos sighed, it was over now. No more insanity!

"Food!" Just then a million pieces of delicious fruit, aka the fuzzy peaches of doom, started to chase Kratos. And to this very day he is being chased, so keep an eye out for a cross country mob of peaches! Good night!

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